Pulling in the Same Direction.

It could be said that we all have multiple personalities – certainly most of us have several ‘I’ s that frequently disagree. Let me explain.


I have an intention to meet my daughter for coffee at noon, that is I, Jennifer, has that intention. However, I, Jenny, get busy with emails and loose track of time (a voice in the back of my head says “just one more – you’ve got time!”). Then there’s I, Jen, who feels taking a break to go to the café is something I only deserve to do when I’ve finished certain tasks I had set myself the day before………………


Long story short, I arrive at the café at about ten past noon. ‘No big deal’ you might say. But I, Jennifer, believe in punctuality as a show of respect for the other person, and although I, (Jenny), tell myself to lighten up and I (Jen) justify internally, being late by arguing work is a priority for how else can one pay for the coffee, - I am annoyed with myself – I do not feel good internally, because I am not in agreement within myself; I am not concurring; I am incongruent.


This incongruence takes a lot of energy and attention, energy and attention that is taken away from relationships, work, and life in general. In fact, this incongruence can be so distracting it can even become destructive.


If we are to improve ourselves and our world, we need to give all our attention, intentionally, deliberately, to becoming congruent within ourselves. Only when all our ‘I’s or internal voices agree with each other and have the same intention, can we fully achieve our goals, because only then are we fully focused – a little like all the horses pulling a wagon galloping in the same direction! Only when we become internally congruent, can we create the behaviour - and life – and world that we really want and feel good about. Mastering our emotions is foundational in this process.